Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Have you ever experienced the time as a child where you were so upset that you packed all of your favorite belongings into your backpack and started walking towards the end of your drive way after forwardly telling everyone you were never coming back and they would never see you again, just to see if some one would stop you?I do not know about you; But that feeling never really been fulfilled when it comes to me. People always ask me why i seem as such a loner; believe me i do not try to come off as a loner i just know the people who wish to be around me would not be someone to stop me from walking to the end of the drive-way. I know the people who want  a relationship with me is only because they cannot take advantage of me otherwise.  And being alone is a lot less lonely then going on a date with a person who is just trying to use you - and you know it, I've found myself in that position too many times just to not feel lonely that night. I'm more content alone sitting on a bench and observing every body else around me, wondering if they ended up with the person they wanted, had the life they dreamed of as a kid or if they're unhappy. I wonder if any one is ever stopped by the time they reach the drive-way. There is only so many times i could see if some one would stop me and to be honest, maybe i have given up on believing one day somebody will actually stop me. No one can hurt me that way.

-Trinity Lo'ren

Friday, October 21, 2011

It's like I've realized that way down inside, I've always been lonely and longing for something; but i don't really know what for. It's like everybody in the world wants something only they never really know exactly what it is, they just keep finding out what it isn't. You know how when you turn off the TV and you come out of some concert and everything just feels empty? like you thought that would be what you wanted but then it wasn't? yeah that's it.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

One thing about loving someone with your heart fully, is a risk most people fear to take, to me love is amazing or at least was amazing. I never really prepared myself for one day possibly waking up to you not being there, I've never really fully convinced myself that you're gone forever yet. Some nights it's just hard to face the truth and most days it's easier to pretend that some time in the future i'll get a phone call from you being the person i fell in love with. I regret building my life around you; i regret letting myself getting so comfortable in you saying that you loved me. I hate how lonely I've let myself become and having this terrible void i try to fill with anything and everything. I took the risk of loving you fully with my heart, and I've realized why it's such a fear to so many people; if the person you love let's you fall, you have no love left in you to rise again.

-Trinity Lo'ren

Sunday, October 9, 2011

I honestly do not feel the need to impress or the need to be impressed, if someone cannot like you for you then they surely do not deserve you in their life and they are not worth having in your life. I don't really have my future too planned my goal in life is just to be happy, wherever that may take me, whoever that might be apart of my life or if no one really is.  Who are we to judge somebody else's life?,  i know i have a terrible past, i've been hurt and i've hurt other people, I've cried and made others cry. But i learned how to apply that to my life and change for the better. I realized falling in love, is not with just anyone, you have to fall in love with someone, who loves things that you love, because the things that you love is you. and the things that they love are them. You do not want to be in a relationships for years, and wake up one day in realization to find that this person does not love you, if they did they wouldn't want you to change, they wouldn't dis-trust you and isolate you from the world, loving someone isn't trying to be somebody's world, it's trying to be one of the best things in their world.

Friendship is the same thing; if you find yourself, being something you're not just to possibly have more friends or feel like you have anybody at all, they aren't your friends and you'll find yourself even lonelier than you were in the first place.

 Maybe you're asking "well what if nobody likes the real me?" There is more than a billion people in this world, every single person is perfectly unique in their own way; and finding that one person who would accept you might seem unreachable but it isn't.  I accept you; whoever you are. i do not feel a reason to judge you, for whatever that reason would be to. Don't lose hope over people who don't deserve to be in your life, we get so caught up in the negative reactions of people we look over and forget about the people who think we truly shine.

-Trinity Lo'ren

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Cosmetic heaven.

I spotted lipstick for 50 cents at a drug-store this evening i couldn't resist but fill my terrible need of  fire-truck red lipstick. 

All though i will be the first to admit i hate the cold, fall is my favorite time of the year just for the colors, i'm a sucker for mustard, burgundy, chocolates, and royal and rust colors and of course red :]

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. 

-Trinity Lo'ren

Saturday, October 1, 2011

My love for you was the best work my heart will ever live to know. But even the sun doesn't shine forever it tucks itself away for those cool dark nights where the moon takes a turn to glow, but until next time my much as i'll never accept it...i  understand you must go, and find a new home; a place that makes you sparkle brighter than any polished star could  ever wish to glisten.

-Trinity Lo'ren